Saturday 15 November 2014

Sex talk over dinner


When hunger strikes, each one of us heads to the nearest place where we can find something to eat or we go to our favorite restaurant. I was recently introduced to a restaurant in Ntinda which has good local food and I decided to go back myself the following week.

It was a regular but draining day which ended with me passing by the restaurant to get a meal on my way home. I made my order for food and waited quietly as I checked out the day’s news online as I sat down in a corner and waited patiently.

As I waited for my meal, 2 of the waiters from the restaurant moved away from the main seating area next to me since I was in the least occupied corner. I ignored them as they sat down and a very engaging conversation of their campus escapades ensued.

Waiter 1: ‘Eh man naye when will this sem end, am fed up of this course work.’ (To mean when is the university semester coming to an end.)

Waiter 2: ‘I know mwana, ahh this is when I miss my ex that Shorty was a’ight.’ (To mean his girl friend was alright/ cool.)

My food was finally delivered by another waiter but even this did not cause them to let up their conversation, they only paused but for a moment.

Waiter 1: ‘Which one?’

Waiter 2: ‘The small, dark slender one – she is not really hot but ehh... it was regular.’

Waiter 1: ‘What do you mean?’

Waiter 2: ‘The lay and it was cost effective.’

At the sound of that I nearly raised my head with a stern look on my face - but then I remembered that I was not a part of this conversation so I let this go as I quietly ate my meal.

Waiter 2: ‘..... I would not spend much on her, actually it was just my fare to her hostel and I would gerrit. She was easy.’ 

Waiter 1: ‘Really, are you still hanging out with that Shorty.’

Waiter 2: ‘Nooo, but this is the time when I wish I was.’

Waiter 1: ‘Braa you need to pass me dem digits, I need to get me some.’(To mean friend you need to give me her digits.’

It was at this point that a party of 3 walked in and were ushered into the main sitting area so the lead waiter who served me earlier, motioned the other waiters to seat the guests. This and only this got these lads to stand up and go about their work which they were supposed to be doing in the first place. That is beside the point though in this case, the moral of today’s tale is what exactly are students going to the university for these days.

Leaving the massacre of the English language aside for this moment, I thought to myself – does this girl (so called Shorty) value herself? By the time she is in hostel she must be a private student who receives allowance from her parents who assume she is away at university busy focusing on her studies. What they would do if they knew what she was doing and who she was surrounding herself with. It is never too early to teach your children how to value and surround themselves with people of substance.

When the waiters moved away and I had finished my meal, I called the lead waiter and paid for my meal but had a side bar with him on the unbecoming conduct of his staff. He apologized for their misconduct and promised to have a discussion with the young lads; however it is safe to say that I have never been served by any of them.

I guess voicing your concerns does get you a kick in the behind well; I am comfortable with that too.


Oasis to the whisper in the wild

Husband: “Hello, how may I assist you, man? But you had better make this brief because I am on my honeymoon.”   Flashback to the begin...